schooling from home
“Don’t ever underestimate the value of a simple and quiet life for your children. One of the greatest gifts we can give them I think, is 18 years of not being rushed about.”
I have always loved the idea of keeping my kids close to me at home and schooling them myself. However when it was time for Sailor to start TK (age 4) I was not in a position financially to stay at home, and I let fear make the decision for me. I’m not a teacher. Where do I start? How do I know I am doing enough? What if I blow it and she never learns how to read or write, and then as a result grows up resenting me? All of those thoughts went through my mind when deciding on which school would be best for her. Ultimately, we decided to put her in a charter Montessori but it was always a topic of conversation for Jason and I and we always knew that at some point we would wind up homeschooling when the time was right. Jason and I both did an extended amount of research and fell in love with the Montessori philosophy.
“Never help a child with a task that he feels he can succeed ”
The Montessori philosophy felt so right to us from the start, and we loved the school that Sailor was going to. She had a traditional, Montessori trained teacher for her first year of school, and we loved her. She was patient, yet firm. Sailor bloomed in her class, and enjoyed schooling from the start. We saw first hand how well this approach to learning worked. Sailor was happy! She came out of TK reading, which was more than we ever expected. Her love for reading was instilled in her first year of school and that is because the Montessori philosophy is a child led approach. This means that a child is allowed the space to thrive and grow in any particular subject without the restraint of time. If a child reaches for the same book every single day for a year, that’s ok because it’s feeding her brain in a way that she needs and is inspiring her in some way.
Another part of Montessori that we loved and felt fell in line with our families values, was the practical life aspect of Montessori schooling. Practical life is exactly what it sounds like- purposeful activity, develops motor control and coordination, and develops independence, concentration, and a sense of responsibility. The exercises in practical life cover two main areas of development: care of self, and care of the environment. This meant that by the age of 4, our kids were cleaning their own dinner plates, folding their own laundry, contributing and learning how to maintain a home as well as self care. Brushing teeth, combing hair, choosing their own wardrobe, and feeling a sense of purpose and independence from all of this.
Our home started changing and we soon realized that Montessori was not just a way of schooling, but really a lifestyle. Our home now included tools for them to manage their day by themselves. A small broom and dustpan, for messes they make. Dishes (glass dishes) set on a low shelf for them to reach on their own. Food placed at low levels so they could get a snack when they felt hungry. This is all part of the Montessori philosophy that we fell in love with and have stuck with since the beginning.
We have actually kept this approach, even with the baby. I plan on writing a post dedicated specifically to Montessori with a toddler.
The day Sailor started TK was the day I started really researching homeschool options. I knew from this point that it was not something to be taken lightly, so I started gathering information. Researching Montessori at home. I went grade level by grade level and compiled projects, and studies I would want to keep on hand for when the time finally came along...
A year later, it was time for Fin to start TK. I enrolled him, and then quickly decided to unenroll him. I kept him home for the most sacred year. It was one of the best decisions that we have ever made. That year of him and I being together every day was so incredibly special. We bonded so much and that year will forever be sacred in my book of time. The next year was time for Kindergarten. I was pregnant with Mars and was looking forward to the time that I would get to spend with the baby while both kids were in their first couple years of school. Fin got the same amazing teacher that Sailor had the year prior and we felt that was the best place for him to be. Now Fin has always been my little home body. He loves a good cozy day at home , where he keeps his jammies on until 3 and can go at his own rhythm. So from day one of Kindergarten, it was a struggle. Actually, I’m going to say from day 2. Day 1 he was on a high, until pickup and he realized he had to go back the next day. This was when he started hiding in the backyard. Yes, hiding!! He didn’t want to leave me in the morning and would hide in the backyard. Then we would find him, get him to school, walk him in and he leave him there in tears... every morning. I would be there for pickup, and he would still be in tears, 6 hours later. This went on for 2 weeks, and one morning as I walked away from dropping him off, I looked back and saw him curled up under the slide sobbing! He was crushed. He was uncomfortable, and he was scared. I can remember that morning so vividly. I would have done anything in that moment to hold him and tell him that he didn’t have to go back tomorrow, but I knew that was not a decision I could make without my husband. I went home and called Jason and at that moment we decided together that nobody was winning in this situation. I wanted him with me, and he wanted to be home with us. I enrolled him in the charter homeschool program that day. I picked the kids up from school and I gave Sailor the option to continue at her current school or give homeschooling a try. We went over the pros and cons of each choice and did our best to help her make the most educated decision a 6 year old could make She made the decision to give homeschool a shot.
This is when all of my research and planning really came into play. By this point, I had a years worth of curriculum planned out by week and broken down into day for both Kindergarten and 1st grade and some of 2nd grade. So making the decision to homeschool was not something we did on a whim. It was carefully thought out and the decision was made at the right time, although it was made quickly.
I have not looked back since that day! I know in my heart that the time I have decided to give to my kids is something that I can never and will never regret. I have gotten to know my kids on a level that many parents never get to experience, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Disclaimer: We have rough days and my kids can be really unpleasant to be around, just like any other child. Just because I keep them home and choose to share photos of the happy and peaceful, does not mean that our days are perfect. They are actually never perfect, and I have become ok with that. After two years of homeschooling we have finally found our rhythm. What works for us, might not work for you and your family because your family is different than ours. And that is the true beauty of homeschooling!!
Advice I would give to someone who is debating homeschooling:
Do it. But be smart about it. Have realistic expectations for the first year and second year too for that matter. Allow yourself to find your rhythm without comparison to other families. Remember that we all tend to share the things that make us feel the best. That means the world is only getting glimpses of what appears to be perfect. Comparing yourself or your family to that will never leave you feeling like you are winning. Take the time to see where your children’s day naturally wants to flow and then build your day off of those observations. This takes time to feel out and really understand. Especially if you are coming from a traditional schooling approach. With traditional school, its up at 7. Eat, brush teeth, get dressed and in the drop off line by 7:50, and if your lucky you had time to put a bra on. Am I right? When schooling from home, the day flows much differently. You have the ability to go at each child’s natural pace. If a child sleeps until 9, you can let them sleep until 9 and start your day after that. When they are happy and well rested (game changer, but I’ll touch more on that later)This is the beauty of schooling from home. It’s yours to be whatever you want it to be. You will never regret the safe haven that is fostered in the home.